George Rosar's multimedia explosion hour, half-hour

my take on PHP 5.4’s new traits ability HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS

So, I’ve been seeing a lot of nerdy relationship code, or even life-issues combined into code. I originally code the idea from Charlie Hunter. However I’ve heard about these new things called traits in PHP 5.4+ and figured I’d geek out and learn. This may not actually work, because I have no need to deploy it to the web-server but it could possibly work if there was a Woman() Object as well.

<?php
class Human extends IntelligentThought {
public $name = ”;
function construct($named)
{
$name = $named
}
public function returnName
{
echo $name;
}
}

 

trait AttemptConsensualPleasure
{
use ConfidentHumanStraightMale, unConfidentHumanStraightMale
public $confidence = true;
public $endSentence = ”;
public $askNumber = ”;
public $pauseInSpeach = ”;

public function changeConfidence($ego)
{
$confidence = $ego;
}

public function returnConfidence()
{
return $confidence;
}

public function sayHelloToWoman($woman)
{
echo ‘*’ . parent::returnName() . ‘looks at ‘ $woman->returnName() . ‘*’;
if ($confidence)
{
$endSentence = ConfidentHumanHumanStraightMale::endSentence();
$askNumber = ConfidentHumanHumanStraightMale::askNumber();
$pauseInSpeach = ConfidentHumanHumanStraightMale::pauseInSpeach();
$bye = ConfidentHumanHumanStraightMale::bye();
$sleeptime = ConfidentHumanHumanStraightMale::getSleepTime();
}
else
{
$endSentence = unConfidentHumanHumanStraightMale::endSentence();
$askNumber = unConfidentHumanHumanStraightMale::askNumber();
$pauseInSpeach = unConfidentHumanHumanStraightMale::pauseInSpeach();
$bye = unConfidentHumanHumanStraightMale::bye();
$sleeptime = unConfidentHumanHumanStraightMale::getSleepTime();
}
echo ‘Hi I\’m’ . parent::returnName() . $pauseInSpeach . $askNumber;

sleep($sleeptime);

echo $bye;

}
}

class StraightMale extends Human
{
use AttemptConsensualPleasure;

function __construct($named)
{
$tempObject = this->_exts[0];
$tempObject->constuct($named)
}
}

 

trait ConfidentHumanHumanStraightMale
{
public function getSleepTime()
{
return ‘1’;
}
public function endSentence()
{
return ‘!\n’;
}
public function pauseInSpeach()
{
return ‘,’;
}
public function returnName()
{
return $name;
}
public function askNumber()
{
return ‘What is your number?’;
}
public function say($words)
{
return $words;
}
public function bye()
{
return ‘You\’re place or mine?’;
}
}

trait unConfidentHumanStraightMale
{
public function getSleepTime()
{
return ‘5000’;
}
public function endSentence()
{
return ‘\n’;
}
public function pauseInSpeach()
{
return ‘..’;
}
public function returnName()
{
return $name;
}
public function askNumber()
{
return ‘W-hatt is ya-our n-ummmmm-ber?’;
}
public function say($words)
{
return $words;
}
public function bye()
{
return ‘Okay, see you later’ . this::pauseInSpeach() . ‘ bye’ . this::endSentence();
}
}

$w = new StraightFemale(‘Yana TrickSleeves’);
$w->changeConfidence(true);
$l = new StraightFemale(‘Alissa Dainty’);
$l->changeConfidence(false);

$b = new StraightMale();
$b->changeConfidence(false);
$b->sayHello($w);
$w->replyBasedOnConfidence($b);
//$b says ‘Hi I\’m George Rosar.. W-hatt is ya-our n-ummmmm-ber?’;
//$b pauses 5 seconds out of anxiety
//$w replies ‘No way man!\n’;
//$b replies ‘Okay, see you later.. bye\n’;
$b->changeConfidence(true);
$b->sayHello($l);
$w->replyBasedOnFirstImpressions($b);
//$b says ‘Hi I\’m George Rosar, What is your number?’;
//$l replies ‘You want to hook-up?\n’;
//$b pauses for 1 millisecond
//$b replies ‘Your place or mine?\n’;

?>

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